


DC/Marvel Crossover Drabble-bits

by Clover



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Young Avengers
Genre: Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2012-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:04:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover/pseuds/Clover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what the title says. Nothing long, but random bits between the two.</p><p>Chapter 1 - You Can't Keep Them<br/>Chapter 2 - The Winner Is....<br/>Chapter 3 - Don't Mess With the Batboys<br/>Chapter 4 - What They Call Sparring...<br/>Chapter 5 - Never Going to Live This Down<br/>Chapter 6 - Green is not Loki's favorite colour<br/>Chapter 7 - I Need An Adult</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Can't Keep Them

"Jan, you can't keep them. I'm pretty sure they've got a family to get back to. Actually, I'm pretty sure we're hosting a part of that very family here," Tony remarked, as he caught the auburn-haired woman gushing with and squealing over different fabrics and clothing designs with the two girls from the different universe. Or, maybe it was gushing over the fabrics and squealing at the two girls, loudly declaring that they were going to be her newest models.

"As long as we get them back in time for dinner at Alfred's when we get back home," Dick called out from the couch where he and Tim were challenging Luke and Peter to, what was fondly known better as 'chainsaw to the face.' Tony heard laughter and the vehement cursing from Luke and Peter, letting him know who was winning at the moment.


	2. The Winner Is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was like watching and waiting for the train wreck you just knew was coming.

“Soooo… What exactly is everybody watching?” Clint voiced, surveying the group of people that seemed to have gathered around the door to Fury’s office. There were drinks and snacks being passed around. Although no one’s attention shifted much from whatever it was that was going on beyond the open door, even with the distraction food provided.

“What happens when two immovable forces go up against each other,” Dick stated, munching on another handful of popcorn. Rolling his eyes at the non-answer nature of Dick’s reply, the archer took a look for himself to see what had everyone’s attention.

Huh. Now Dick’s statement made sense. What else did you call a starring contest between Nick Fury and Bruce Wayne? The director of S.H.I.E.L.D. verse Batman.

“… I see. And how long have they been glaring at each other?” Might as well make himself comfortable, he decided, reaching over and getting a handful of pretzels from one of the bowls.

“”Jason’s got them timed at 20 minutes so far.” A glance and the man in question held up a stopwatch and waved it almost mockingly.

“Huh… Have either of them moved at all?” Clint found himself memorized to the sight, much like everyone else. It was like watching and waiting for the train wreck you just knew was coming.

“Other than a couple of twitches around the eyes, not at all. Although, I’m pretty sure they’re both still breathing, if you want to count that as movement.”

“We’re taking bets on who cracks first. Do you want in?” Tim stated, holding up a clipboard that was filled with small, neat handwriting, numbers, and no shortage of names.

“Oh hell yes.”


	3. Don't Mess With the Batboys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's big mouth meets its match.

“How the hell is something as lame as ‘Robin’ an intimidating superhero name? For that matter, how is ‘Red Robin’ any better? You’re naming yourselves after birds. Wimpy birds at that.”

As soon as the word ‘lame’ had left Tommy’s mouth, the two ‘wimpy birds’ in question had immediately stopped what they were doing to stare at the mutant. When he was done speaking, there was a look of such fury on Robin’s face that no mask would have been able to hide it. As for Red Robin, there was a similar frightening look, even if his anger was leashed a lot tighter than Robin’s was.

When the two shared a look, Billy could only slap a palm to his forehead and call out beseechingly to their new friends.

“Just don’t kill him or break his legs, please? I don’t want to know what an immobilized speedster is like.”

“tt. Eliminate all of the fun then,” Robin scoffed, having finished whatever mental conversation he had been having with Red Robin and drawing his sword.

“I don’t know about that,” Red Robin argued, extending his bo staff. “Nightwing had some pretty good ideas we could use.”

What happened next is something that Billy will remember for the rest of his life, but won’t be able to properly describe in words. The end results though, are easy enough for anyone to see. Sprawled out on the ground, covered in an assorted number of new bruises, is Tommy, while both Robin and Red Robin are untouched. Robin perched on top of his chest, drawing on the speedster’s face with a permanent marker. And frankly, Billy does not want to know what Red Robin is planning on doing with that bottle of hot wax.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to take pictures and send them to all their friends though.


	4. What they call sparring...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mostly only comfortable with using movie!verse-Marvel characters, so that's the voice and characters that come through. This one is a bit longer and makes more mention of people, so I thought I'd lay that out there.

Sure, it’s an unorthodox method of training, but it’s hard to argue against it when it obviously works. It works so well that Steve’s wants to ask them for tips on how to accomplish the same kind of thing with the Avengers. Because he’s not even sure that Natasha and Clint, who have a history together, can move the way he sees the group before him move.

  
The song and playlist had been picked at random, one of Darcy’s that had made Dick and Stephanie grin widely when they shared a look at the other members of their family, and there hadn’t been a single word spoken about what they were going to do, other than the initial acceptance of Steve’s request to see them spar and Dick’s loud proclamation that it was ‘his turn.’

  
If he didn’t know better, Steve would have thought that it was a dance. Or at least, something they must have rehearsed before to be able to anticipate and avoid any lethal blows. Not that he was completely sure that the blows being delivered would have been lethal had they hit, but without participating himself or asking someone who knew more about the fighting techniques being employed, he couldn’t be sure.

  
But if the conversation being tossed around is any indication, Steve would have put his money on non-lethal and that they’re just showing off and playing around. The amount of cursing doesn’t change his opinion on this either.

  
“Drake! Stop hiding behind Cain and face me properly!”

  
“I will when you stop hiding behind Dick.”

  
“Oh my god Dickie. Is this a torture session or a spar? You have to inflict your horrible singing on us as well as this shit you call music?”

  
“ _Their tops are made out of rubber/Their bottoms are made out of springs…”_

  
“Steph!”

  
“Eek! Save me Cass! The Swan Queen’s coming for me!”

  
“The fuck! When the hell did the brat become a biter?!”

  
“Not that I’m not flattered, but is it really necessary to goose me?”

  
“But it’s such a pretty, pretty tasty thing! I had to!”

  
“Cass?!”

  
“What Steph said.”

  
For a group that was so well-trained in stealth, they could be surprisingly noisy and animated when they wanted to be. Steve made a mental note to ask JARVIS later for a video. This was not something he could keep to himself.

  
“Grayson! Tell Fatgirl that **LICKING** is not an acceptable move for combat!”


	5. Never Going to Live This Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kicking butt and taking names, thy name is...

He was never going to live this down.

 

Correction, Clint thought when he heard the familiar sound of another body hitting the mats. The Avengers were never going to live this down. Because Clint was hard-pressed to think of anything that was more embarrassing than having your ass handed to you by someone almost a foot shorter and half your weight.

 

“This is so awesome!”

 

Of course, there were those who thought otherwise. Did Darcy really have to sound so cheerful about seeing him eat floor repeatedly?

 

It wouldn’t really have been so bad if she’d had some kind of ability or power, but no. The tiny little girl who was kicking the Avengers’ respective asses had the same kind of powers as Clint. That is to say, she had no powers in the least.

 

“Cass! Cass!

She’s our Bat!

Show these guys where it’s at!”

 

“… Dick, where the hell did you get pom-poms in yellow, black, and purple?”

 

“Trade secret.”

 

God, she even came with her own cheering squad. One with absolutely no shame and had a member who made certain members of the team question their sexuality. A man of Dick’s size and age should not have looked so good in a cheerleader’s uniform.

 

“And that’s time. Cass: 10. Avengers: … 2. And you have my pity.”

 

“This is so going up on youtube. Smile!”

 

Clint groaned. Yup. Never going to live this down.

 

\------------------------

Same computer issues, so notes here.

 

True facts. I looked it up on the Marvel wiki and the DC wiki.

Cassandra Cain - 5'5"/115 lbs

Clint Barton = 6'3"/230 lbs 

 

Personal opinion here, but Cass kicks all the butts.


	6. Green is not Loki's favorite colour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth can actually be stranger than fiction and with stuff like this, who needs cable?
> 
> Or Milagro and Why You Should Not Take Away Her Guy Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was thought up after having Avengers on the brain from the movie and then seeing a piece of art from [notthiscrap](http://notthiscrap.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. (http://notthiscrap.tumblr.com/post/22726329633/i-was-talking-with-someone-about-guy-and-milagro - this picture actually)
> 
> Because you know, Milagro is going to be one awesome Lantern when the time comes. And youtobe is a most excellent tool for blackmail.

Tony didn't know what was the point of his brain, his sleep-deprived and caffeine starved brain, coming up with the hallucination that he was now witnessing, after emerging from the bowels of his labs. Because there was a lot of weirdness that a person got used being an Avenger, but there was usually a reason for the weirdness. As off the wall and possibly science breaking as the reason could be, it was still a reason. And Tony could not come up with any reason to explain what he was witnessing. 

There was a little girl, who was probably not even in her double digits yet, with dark hair in pigtails, wearing a bright green dress and white gloves, who was holding a giant glowing hammer that looked like the ones in Saturday morning cartoons, and beating Loki repeatedly over the head with it. 

"Okay, what?" Tony finally managed to ask when his brain cells cobbled together enough electrical impulses to fire and operate his verbal functions. 

"Apparently her name's Milagro and she's a Green Lantern, whatever that means. She also says that it's all Loki's fault that's she's stuck here instead of back home eating fried ice cream with some guy," Bruce spoke up from where he was sitting, watching the show and casually sipping something from a mug. 

"Not _some guy_ ," the girl, Milagro, protested., pausing in her efforts to pummel Loki into a paste and pointing her hammer at Bruce. "His name is Guy and he's the most awesomest super hero, but if Jamie gets in trouble because I'm not with him, I won't get to spend any time with him!" 

And Milagro emphasized her point by smacking Loki a few more times before pouting and kicking him with one white, booted foot hard enough to make Tony wince.

And really, after hearing that, there was only one thing Tony could think of to do or say. 

"JARVIS? Please tell me that we're recording all of this."

"Of course sir."


	7. I Need An Adult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bored superheroes should never be left alone without adult supervision.

Eyeing the smoldering mess that had once been a perfectly functional sewing machine and what had been the remains of a model airplane, Natasha just crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at the group collected in front of her.

“And what have we learned from all this?”

“That Clint, Jason, and Roy are not to be left alone with each other without adult supervision and that Tony does not count as adult supervision,” Tim states peevishly from the couch where he’s still trying to get all the mutated play-doh out of his hair. He’d tried water to get the stuff out, but it just made the pink, glittery mass twitch. 

He didn’t want to even know how the three of them had made play-doh capable of twitching. 

“Harper, stop trying to convince me that being confined to walk on ceilings is a benefit and just GET ME DOWN!”

“But you have the best line of sight while you’re up there!” Lian argued. 

Natasha let out a little huff that would have been a heavy sigh from anyone else and mentally counted down the minutes until Alfred, Steve, and Coulson came back from their grocery trip. 

This is why you didn’t let superheroes get bored, Natasha thought as she pulled out a knife and set to work on freeing the group of ‘adults’ from their prison of jello.


End file.
